Jokes of the Day: New Phone, Four Men and the Artwork

MartinRaymondo

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MartinRaymondo 〰️ 〰️

Joke #1

My oldest son is on my cell phone plan because it’s cheaper that way. 

His younger brother is on his mom’s account. 

They both got new iPhones, but ours is an older XR model.

He wants a more recent phone like his brother’s. 

I told him that if he studied hard, got good grades, and did his chores on time, I’d upgrade to a newer iPhone for him. 

Otherwise, he’d get a cheaper phone. 

It’s my way or the Huawei.

Joke #2

Four men are waiting in a hospital room as their wives are ready to deliver. 

A nurse approaches one of the men and says, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins!” 

The guy says, “That’s cool, I work for the Minnesota Twins organization.” 

A few hours later, another nurse approaches the second man and says, “Congratulations, you’re the father of triplets!” 

The man says, “Huh, I work for 3M.” 

Later that evening, another nurse came out and told the third man, “Congratulations, you’ll be a busy father of four!” 

The man says, “Well, isn’t that something? I work for the Four Seasons hotel chain.” 

The last man then starts to bang his head against the wall, moaning. 

The nurse and current proud father of four ask him, “What’s the matter?” 

He looks at them and says, “I work at Six Flags!”

Joke #3

An attorney calls his client, a wealthy businessman who collects art, and tells him he has good and bad news.

The businessman says, "I've had one heck of a day. Give me the good news first."

The attorney acknowledged him and said, "Your wife met with me today and informed me she invested a few thousand dollars in three pictures that could be worth upwards of 20 million."

The businessman says, "That's amazing. Now, since I'm in a better mood, I can handle the bad news."

His attorney says, "The pictures are of you and another woman romantically involved."